When I get an idea, there's no stopping that idea regardless of its misguidedness. In this way, I'm much like our nation's president, George T. Bush. As such, I will share with you a musical song idea I accidentally had a few days ago in spite of my liberal politics.
PARODY OF DAVID LEE ROTH'S HIT PERFORMANCE OF "JUST A GIGOLO," AS WRITTEN AND RECORDED BY "WEIRD AL" YANKOVIC SHORTLY BEFORE LOSING HIS RECORDING CONTRACT:
(bouncy intro music)
(more bouncy intro music)
I'm just a Jigaboo!
And everything I do...
Etc. etc watermelon or whatever
As you can see, not all of my ideas quite get off the ground. But now's no time to complain about the earth's gravitational force; let's talk Troops Of Tomorrow!
When The Exploited's second studio LP dropped in 1982, little did they know that it would increase its velocity with 9.8 m/s for each second of its descent because of SOME FUCKING ASSHOLE FIELD WHAT, F=M/G? YEAH MORE LIKE "FUCKING=ME/UPTHEASS!!!!" But at the same time, it was a considerably stronger release than its predecessor. In the first of six hundred thousand personnel changes (actually the third, but I'll get to that in my Singles Collection review), drummer Dru Stix has been replaced by Danny Wheatley. Don't get too excited for "Danny Wheatley and calling his mom up and stuff though, because he actually only plays drums on two songs -- sadly, the two worst songs on the record. The rest are handled masterfully and speedily by the UK Subs' Steve Roberts.
And may God bless Steve Roberts because T.O.T. takes all the sluggish shambling drumrolls of P.N.D. and shoves 'em up your A.R.S.! (e.) Aside from two purposely trudging metal sludgers of foreboditure, this record is filled top to bottom with kickass angry catchy uptempo punk rock. Big John's got a mean new guitar tone, and demonstrates a strong Motorhead influence in his fast choppy 'chugga-chugga-chugga' playing. The mix is a bit trebly and reverbed, but in another interesting first, several of the songs incorporate overdubs of differently-toned, -effected or -accented rhythm guitar. For example, "They Won't Stop" is driven by a chugging rhythm guitar, but also features a reverbed metallic guitar doubling up just part of the riff, resulting in a strange 'SCROWL SCROWL' sound in the final mix. There's all kinds of examples like that I could tell you about, had I written them down.
Popular selections from this record include the anthemic UK Subby single "Alternative," exuberant chaos celebration "Disorder," hilariously blunt stomper "Fuck The USA," tribal metallic chugger "War," creepy chanted title dirge (written by the Vibrators? They outsourced their title track!?), and pissed-off speedster "UK 82." Really stupid selections from this record include aforementioned "Germs," "Sid Vicious Was Innocent" ('He didn't have a problem/'Til he met that bloody cunt!'), and a messy two-chord bonus track in which Wattie yells variations on "WHO ARE YOU FUCKIN' LOOKING AT?!" over and over as the drummer fails to maintain a steady beat.
Many on the Internet proclaim this to be the finest Exploited album. It is indeed very quite good! I suppose the chord changes could be called 'rudimentary,' but they're tough, hooky, speedy and perfect for this type of manic punk rock/hardcore.
But why did Michael Moore fail to use "Fuck The USA" as his theme song for Sicko? Check out this first couplet: "There really is nothing nice about USA/You go to the hospital, you have to pay." Am I right? Who's wrong me? With?
On another note, thank GOD Yahoo! News provides daily updates on Dancing With The Stars because I completely give a shit.
OH NO!!! They booted off Marissa!!! I absolutely and totally give a rat's ass!
YES!!! Kristi and Mark were declared finalists!!! Words can't describe how much I wholly and all-encompassingly give a flying fuck!!!!!!!
"Sarcasm I now see to be, in general, the language of the devil; for which reason I have long since as good as renounced it." - Thomas Carlyle
Well, WHOOP-DE-DOO!!!! Thomas Dickfuckle doesn't like sarcasm!
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