Dwarves - Come Clean - 1999

Is it just me or does Blag Dahlia totally rule? He just has such a knack for creating an enjoyable punk record. This one isn't the pop-punk melody showcase of the last CD, but it's absolutely incredible in a different way. See, each song has its own personality, its own production tricks and musical gags, its own kickass quotient and feel. In fact, Come Clean is an album that cries out to be examined and admired track by track so I'm going to do just that right now. I'm hoping that these descriptions will make you want to hear the record. That's why I'm doing this. Here I go now.

"How it's done" is generic Epitaph pop-punk (and the only song on the record that I'm less than thrilled with)
"River City" is screaming hardcore as angry as any they've ever done (who the hell is that on vocals? Sure doesn't sound like Blaggy!)
"Over You" is a strangely serious weird industrial thrash metal parody that makes hardly any sense on a Dwarves album but works anyway thanks to the hip Metallica chugging guitars and funny techno noises
"Way Out" is FUCKING HEADBANGING DWARVES HARDCORE GO! GO! GO! with a weird synth break in the middle
"Come Where The Flavor" features somebody talking through a synth like Peter Frampton would before erupting into a smooth bent-note clean guitar classic rock song with disturbingly sudden editing cuts strewn throughout (go for that diversity, Blag!)
"Deadly Eye" is a high-speed western-tinged punk tune with some odd chord changes, three different speeds and a Ramonesy guitar solo (not to mention a Dwarves shoutout in the middle backed by swishy synth noises!)
"Better Be Women" starts with one of the most hilarious answering machine messages you will ever and then goes into a catchy and beautiful Young And Good-Looking Ramones rocker with funny misogynist lyrics
"I Want You To Die" features more larynx-scraping screams backed by a sub-minute descending '60s punk riff played at hardcore speed
"Johnny On The Spot" disappoints with a vocal melody swiped from "Demonica" but impresses with a great chorus, some nice chord changes and an awesome surf guitar break
"Accelerator" chugs like the best motorcycle music, complete with an accelerator-influenced guitar line in the chorus!!!!!
"Act Like You Know" appears to be an attack on uninformed media who accuse the Dwarves of being violence mongerers but I have trouble understanding the lyrics, mainly due to the five tons of goopy vocal effects piled on (and did I mention the Indian rain dance bit with the harmonica???? DWARVES RULE!!!!)
And finally "It's Tits" - dumb and catchy, quintessential Dwarves.

Jesus Christ. The more I listen to this CD, the more I am in awe at these guys for taking punk rock to such a wonderfully diverse and multi-textured level. And they just keep doing it over and over and over again! Sure it's only 21 minutes of music, but it's 21 minutes that encompasses the whole world of punk, metal and good old rock and roll. All with a rude conscience and speed to spare. Now that the Cows are gone, there is no doubt in my mind that the Dwarves are the greatest rock band alive. Let's hope they keep the flame going as long as they can still stand up!